Die happy

Death, what a misery of a word. It should not be so for the one thing we understand from a very young age is that, every person and every thing that lives must also die. This is a 100% assured. We must not fear it but make it a close companion, become friends with the idea and understand that through death we only end the first stage of our journey, before undertaking the next. The fear comes from us entering the unknown, we should look at it with excitment and happiness in what will become of us. Differant people have differant ways of understanding death, some like to believe there souls will rise to an ever lasting nirvana whilst others believe in reincarnation of the soul, to a life worthy of the life lived previously. Whatever a person chooses to believe is correct but i feel we must believe in something, otherwise the morbid feeling of the unknown will be upon us as death draws closer.


My familiarity with death came after i crashed my bike in Thailand and fell in to a 48 hour coma. It was after this coma and my 6 weeks of hospital treatment that i felt my worst. It was during this time that i reverted back to childhood. I did not trust anyone and understood even less. I was still in Thailand, being looked after by my 1 month old girlfriend when i came out from hospital. I felt that she was plotting against me when she tried to make me fly back to England. I was in the country of my dreams, why would i want to leave. So i destroyed the last remaining brain cell i had on drinking more and more and riding bikes more and more. I awoke one morning to find blood all over my pilliow. Upon getting up with a tremendous headache i looked in the mirror and saw a large group of open scars on my face. I asked my girlfriend were they came from and she announced that i crashed again when coming back from the bar, this time in to another drunk tourist on a motorbike. The police had confiscated my bike apparently, in this part of Thailand it is clearer to understand that they stole it, i would never get it back and i would be sure to see a police man doing his shopping on it in a few days time, my dangerous driving charge was dropped though.
It was after this second smash, my mangled up face and being visited by two dear friends of mine from London who both exclaimed that maybe i should go back home when i started to believe that it might be for the best. So i said my fairwell to Koh Phanagn, with Jana, whilst drinking a bottle of Chang bear, looking out to sea. I knew i would return, so was not that heart broken and return we did, four months later and became married, Buddhist style. To this day i still love that island and my saviour Jana.